Lukas Gage isn’t afraid to bare it all. On the screen playing a hotel employee in The White Lotus; on reality TV (if you know, you know); or in his memoir, I Wrote This For Attention, where he writes about everything from his childhood to a traumatizing STI. Now, in partnership with Gilead Lukas is encouraging everyone he can to speak about sexual wellness — including protection from HIV — with the same nonchalance of an annual physical, daily workouts or a skincare routine. Why not take preventative meds like PrEP as a proactive step in helping protect yourself from HIV? Lukas caught up with Cosmo at Hearst Magazines’ 2nd annual Men’s Health Lab to talk about why this mindset is so important, and how it can lead to sexier and stronger romantic relationships.
What would you say to people who aren’t sure how to make discussions about HIV protection and STI testing feel sexy? Is there a way to balance spontaneity with keeping your health top-of-mind?
I think that’s a really good point, because sex should be fun. We forget that a lot of times. But I do think having these conversations and having accessibility to tools like condoms, getting tested, and taking PrEP is a way to have more fun and freedom with your sex life. For me, it was the not knowing and the confusion [surrounding my partners’ status] that led me to not enjoy sex as much. So [talking about things] has actually helped me have more fun.
You talk in your book about an STI horror story that happened while in a monogamous relationship. How can someone incorporate routine testing into their relationship without putting their partner on edge?
I think openness and honesty are the foundations of a good relationship. At first, it can be an awkward conversation but, ultimately, I think it’s sexy to be [communicative] about these things. I actually think bringing these things up can build trust and lead to discussion about more exciting things in a couple’s sex life. These talks will build and strengthen a relationship, if anything.
Ariana Madix had a lovely chat with our editor-in-chief recently about supporting a partner who comes out during a relationship, and it reminded me of your ex-girlfriend. What are some of the best things she did that other people can learn from?
I really just have to commend her for being so open and progressive at such a young age. I really believe everything is on a spectrum, and she just asked those questions and was curious in a non judgemental way. That approach is so key.
I love that you came up with that infamous White Lotus season one scene with Murray Barlett. What else do you think should be normalized on TV?
I feel like everything’s more normalized now, which I guess is a great thing. Maybe more types of relationships, like non-monogamy. I would love to see a bisexual throuple without stereotypical judgment, just one that loves each other. That would be cool. That’s the only thing I can think of that’s missing right now; we’ve got gay hockey players, we’ve got everything.
I know a lot of people are hoping for more queerness on shows like Love Island.
There’s one guy on Southern Hospitality — [Justin Assada] — that’s talked about his sexuality and said he’s “30% gay.” I thought it was so cool for him to be able to say, “this is where I land on the spectrum.” I think a lot of people were really receptive to it, which is cool to see.
I’ve been asking you for a lot of advice: what’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
I’m going to go back to being as open and candid and vulnerable about all aspects of your personal life with your partner. Physical health, emotional health, mental health, sexual health — it’s the foundation for a really healthy relationship. As scary as it is to have those conversations, it’s way better than to be dishonest or inauthentic.
